Thanksgiving

Well, this Thanksgiving was definitely not what I was expecting.

The Original Plan...

The kids and I were going to leave for Michigan on Tuesday after lunch to spend the next few days with relatives from my side of the family.  On Wednesday, we were going to catch up with my mom and see "A Christmas Carol," and, on Thursday, we were going to spend the day with my brother and sister-in-law at my Uncle Bill and Aunt Dorothy's home.  I grew up going to there for Thanksgiving, and it was like a scene out of Norman Rockwell.

Uncle Bill and Aunt Dorothy also have seven children, none of whom I have seen since well before we moved to France.  Several would surely have been there for the holiday.  All in all, I was very much looking forward to spending some time catching up with all of them.

On Friday, I was to drive back home, as I was registered to run a four-mile race on Saturday morning and as Jeff would be arriving after two weeks in France on Saturday evening.

The Actual Holiday...

On Tuesday morning, I received two emails that our good friend Lissy Edmondson from our former small group in Tennessee had won her victory over cancer and gone home to her Lord on Monday evening. 

Immediately, our whole next five days shifted.  While we haven't seen Joel and Lissy much in the seven years since we moved from Tennessee, they and other members of that small group were a big part of our lives when we lived there.  Joel and Lissy lived one street over from us and kept Charlotte when we went to the hospital to deliver Elijah.  If at all possible, I wanted us to be at that funeral.

After multiple phone calls, I ascertained that the visitation and funeral would be on Friday and Saturday; called my brother, mom, and dad to let them know that we would NOT be coming to Michigan; found Jeff a ride home from the airport; and called Jeff's parents to see if they were open to having three additional visitors for Thanksgiving.

After lunch on Tuesday, instead of driving four hours to Michigan, we drove seven-and-a-half hours to West Tennessee.  We ate our first Thanksgiving dinner with Jeff's parents on Wednesday and then a second one on Thursday at the home of Jeff's brother and sister-in-law.

On Friday, we left after breakfast and headed to Murfreesboro, a two-and-a-half-hour drive.  We ate lunch and spent the afternoon with one of my oldest friends in Tennessee; Gina and I taught together at Middle Tennessee Christian School back before either one of us had kids.  Gina's kids are now 12 and 9...where does the time go?!

Gina kept Charlotte and Elijah while I went to the visitation that evening.  (They were very resistant to the idea of going; I think that the earlier visitation for our friend in Peoria kind of freaked them out.)  The funeral was the next morning at 10:30 at the church we attended when we lived there; we then went to the cemetery and to the luncheon provided for family and friends afterwards.

By 1:15, we had said our final goodbyes and hit the road for Illinois.  Jeff was due in at 6:00 that evening, and we were all eager to see him.  Although the drive home was long and tedious, we arrived around 9:30, about three hours behind Jeff.

I know that this account is long on bald facts and short on details, but, honestly, I've had a difficult time processing these past few days.  While Kim's death was difficult for me, Lissy's was devastating.  Lissy was, quite simply, one of the best people I have had the privilege of knowing.  She was kind, compassionate, funny, and had a smile that lit up any room she entered.  As with Kim, I struggle to understand why this illness had to strike her, had to take her.

Her husband and boys are holding up remarkably well.  Joel will tell you that it's because he has wanted nothing, needed nothing, during this whole horrible process...Lissy's diagnosis, her grueling treatment, her decline, and eventually her death.  They were able to live every moment to the fullest before they lost her, constantly buoyed by the prayer and physical support of their small group and church family.  Lissy was surrounded by friends who were praying for her when she drew her final breath on this earth. 

Her funeral was incredibly sad, but it was also incredibly hopeful.  As Joel shared with the man who spoke at Lissy's funeral, "Cancer closed her eyes here on earth, but Jesus will open them in heaven."  Lissy believed that, and I know that we will see her again.

But it's very, very hard to say goodbye.

What else can I say?  It was wonderful to see friends that we haven't seen in several years, to reconnect with people that were a very big part of our lives at one time.  Our kids loved spending time with Gina's kids and have some wonderful memories of our different-than-expected Thanksgiving.  I'm glad that circumstances were such that we could be there.

And the biggest thing I brought away with me?  I want to live my life every day so that I could die tomorrow and not regret a thing.  Lissy managed to do this; of course, she was sad to leave her husband and boys, but I think she knew that they would be taken care of, just as she had been as she ended her life. 

I think this is a pretty good way to approach life...and death.

One Week Down

Well, we started our Advent candles tonight.  Yes, I realize it's a week too early, but our calendar for December is a little nuts.  We will be out of town for one Sunday altogether, and that will mess up our candle lighting.  Ergo, we lit our first one tonight.

I think that we do ours a bit differently than I've seen some done.  We light three purple candles, one pink candle, and one white candle in the weeks leading up to Christmas.  Tonight's candle, a purple one, represents Jesus as the Light of the World.

Aesthetically speaking, I also like the looks of the stair-stepped candles when they are lit and burned at the appropriate intervals!  We light a candle each Sunday and then burn it at supper each night that week, culminating with the white candle lit on Christmas Eve.  Our Advent candles really help me start feeling celebratory, as they are usually our first step toward Christmas.

Jeff has been in France for just over a week.  So far, he's worked a lot, eaten at most of our favorite restaurants, reconnected with our friends at St. Marc's, and gone skiing.

Those of us here at home are trying, with varying levels of success, not to be TOO jealous!

Around here, we've pretty much filled our time with make-up tae kwon do lessons, doubled-up schoolwork so we can take this week off, and other activities designed to completely wear us out.  But we also managed a play date with friends with whom we've been trying to reconnect since we moved back...fantastic!  My friend Kathy Hunt has four boys, the youngest of whom is about five months old.  I've decided that, if I can have a baby boy as calm as James Hunt, I might just survive our new little boy!  Charlotte and Elijah had a terrific time playing with her older three boys, who are Elijah's age, six, and three.  Too much fun!

I also had the opportunity to attend the National Missionary Convention on Thursday evening, held at the Peoria Civic Center.  A couple of members of our small group went to serve, as our church was one of the host churches for the convention.  We ended up helping take up the offering at the end of the worship service, but, in the meantime, we had the privilege of listening to Jitendra (Jay) Henry, who was born, raised, and has served as a missionary in India since 1969.  His story of seeing God move in a dangerous place with persecution around every corner made me think about just how easy I have it and how much I take for granted being able to freely walk into our church each Sunday.  Wow.

Well, I hope that you all are looking forward to spending time with your families this holiday week!  The kids and I will likely be heading to Michigan to spend a few days with my family before returning here to pick Jeff up on Saturday. 

If I don't blog again before we go, have a safe and blessed Thanksgiving!

Saying Goodbye

The kids' tae kwon do belt test was only the first of several activities this past Saturday.  The rest were not nearly so much fun, though!

As I mentioned a couple of posts ago, an acquaintance and fellow homeschooling mom from church lost her battle with cancer a week ago today.  While she and I were not friends, we had many connections.  Her husband is our kids' pediatrician and is one of the kindest doctors I have ever met.  Kim taught Charlotte in the children's church program at Richwoods back when we lived here before and was very involved in the homeschooling community here in the Peoria area.

Her services were this past Saturday, so we stopped by for the visitation.  There were many, many people there, a great testament to her impact during her too-short 39 years on this side of heaven.  There were photo albums from her wedding and of her children, and several handwritten notes from her sons graced her coffin.

It was unbearably sad. 

I haven't been to many funerals of people my age, maybe a handful.  I don't think that anything else makes me question the fairness of life and God's sovereign plan more something like this, though.  It just seems so unfair that a woman in the prime of her life with a husband and three young sons who need her would be taken away.  Given that Kim was more of an acquaintance than a friend, I honestly don't know what I'll do when I'm facing this situation with someone to whom I am or was close.

That being said, I have to still believe that God is sovereign and that He does have a plan bigger than I am.  Kim is healed now, and she wouldn't trade where she is.  But I don't think this makes it any easier, at least in the short term.

After the visitation, we grabbed a quick bite to eat and then ran Jeff out to the Peoria airport.  He left Saturday afternoon for two weeks in Grenoble, our old French stomping grounds.  I must say that I'm a bit jealous!

I did price tickets, but with school and our other responsibilities here and how much it would have cost, going with him wasn't in the cards this time.  So he'll have to have fun for all of us.  He's got a list of places he has to eat and, of course, of things we'd like him to bring back.  (French Christmas candy, anyone?!)

But quite frankly, we've really gotten used to him being around all the time, so I'm happy for him but not so happy for me.  Sigh.

After dropping Jeff off, we had to hustle to church for Christmas play practice.  Charlotte has one of the lead parts, Elijah has a bit part, and I'm halfway in charge of the angel choir, with my friend Robin.  Since she attended Kim's funeral, I was actually all the way in charge Saturday, which was interesting!

But the "angels" have worked hard to learn the music, so it was fun.  For the actual show, I will be playing the piano while Robin directs the angels.  It's coming together nicely.

I ended up going to bed at 9:15 that night and sleeping for nine hours.  Hopefully, that will be the last day like that for awhile!

Talk to you soon!

"Martialing" the Forces

So, I signed the kids up for tae kwon do back in August.  To say I did not know what we were in for is a massive understatement.

As you may  know from reading my French blog, Elijah participated in fencing when we lived in France.  Believe it or not, Peoria has a fencing academy; furthermore, the the Peoria Park District offers summer courses in fencing.  So, I considered signing him up again here.  But the fencing academy is a good 25-minute drive from here if the traffic is good and the lights cooperate.  And the Park District classes seemed pretty rinky-dink.  I mean, how much fencing can you learn in six sessions?  Plus, we'd have to drive to Peoria for those, too.

Since we've moved back and especially since we found out about the baby, I've made a marked effort to stay closer to home.  Our dentist and hairdresser used to be 25-minute drives away in Peoria.  Now, they are both up the road in Metamora, a five-minute drive.  I've kept our pediatrician and my obstetrician because it only takes about fifteen minutes to get to them, and they already have our medical histories, but I've cut my trips to Walmart back to maybe twice a month, opting instead to buy milk, fresh vegetables, and pressing items at the local grocery, which I can almost see from our house.

With these gas-guzzling non-diesel engines, I'm trying to stay local!

So, when I was trying to figure out what activity Elijah might enjoy for the fall, I remembered that there was a tae kwon do academy right across the highway in Germantown Hills.  Furthermore, the owners are Christians and frequently offer homeschool classes earlier in the day for those who were interested.  I don't know much about martial arts, but I do know that self-discipline and hard work are two major tenets.  So asked Elijah what he thought about learning tae kwon do, and he was very enthusiastic.

Back to August...I called Rhonda Kurtz, who runs the academy with her husband Pete (aka Master Kurtz), and arranged to bring Elijah to a free try-out class.  Charlotte heard me making the arrangements and asked if she could try out tae kwon do, too.

Why not?

We went to the try-out class, and the rest is history.  Charlotte LOVED it, opting to do tae kwon do instead of soccer this fall.  Elijah was more excited about this than he was about fencing.  We left the try-out class with two uniforms, two white belts, and a schedule for coming back. 

Since then, the kids have jumped into the whole martial-arts thing with amazing aptitude and enthusiasm.  They have two classes per week and one private lesson a month.  They have moved up two belt levels, earning their yellow belts and official "martial artist" status at the end of September and their orange belts this past Saturday.  I understand that they will slow down a bit now, but man!  Between testing fees, hand gear, and the myriad other miscellaneous expenses, I'm ready for a break in buying stuff for tae kwon do! 

Although, I must say, it has definitely been worth it.  The Kurtzes also emphasize life skills and require that the kids do "extra credit" at home in order to earn certain leadership responsibilities and awards in class.  For their first extra credit sheets, Mrs. Kurtz recommended that the kids learn to answer us with a prompt and loud "Yes, Ma'am!" and "No, Sir!"  (I realize for you Southern parents, this would be a bit redundant, but not so here in the North.  It is HIGHLY unusual for children to answer adults this way; it's frequently seen as smart alecky or disrespectful.)  So now our kids answer us this way because they want to earn their class incentives.

Here are a few photos from their white belt test...

 

...and from their yellow belt test on Saturday.

 

I find this amazing, and we surely are proud of both of them!

Splash Down

Jeff and the kids absolutely loved the Wisconsin Dells.  As I am pregnant, I did a lot of reading and watching others have fun, but I did get a few rounds on the Lazy River!  And just being away from home and not cooking for a weekend more than sufficed for my enjoyment!

For those of you unfamiliar with this particular resort town, the Dells boast water parks, and lots of 'em.  They are completely self-contained, with hotels and restaurants on-site.  With covered walkways connecting all of the different hotels with all of the different water parks, you don't even have to go outside for the duration if you don't want to.

We stayed at a resort called the Wilderness.  It boasted three hotels, three indoor water parks, nine restaurants, at least two arcades, laser tag, and black-light, 3D, indoor mini golf.  I can honestly say there was more to do here that could be comfortably done in a weekend, but we gave it a good try.

My friend Robin, with whose family our family went to the Dells, made the reservation and found an AMAZING deal on eBay for a two-bedroom, two-bathroom suite with a full kitchen, dining room, living room, and terrace.  Admission to the water parks was included in the cost of the accommodations.  This ended up being an affordable, relaxing weekend away.

Robin, I, and our four kids left Friday morning and arrived mid-afternoon.  After dropping our stuff in rooms, we headed straight for the water parks, where we played until the dads arrived around 7:00.

 

 

As Mike and Jeff were both weary when they arrived (after all, they had to work all day!), and none of us really felt like going out, we ordered in Italian from a nearby restaurant called Sarento's.  We had coupons from when we checked in and ended up getting over $20 off our order!  Not too bad, and the food was delicious.  Afterwards, we played a game called Apples to Apples...pretty fun, especially with four kids who are probably too young to understand sarcasm and over-cleverness!  Charlotte, our most literal child, somehow managed to win.  Huh.

Saturday was completely devoted to the water parks.  Each one had at least one big slide; one had a wave pool; and one had a Lazy River.  I think that we visited all three before we were done that day.  We took a break midday to eat some sandwiches and leftovers in the room, and the men and kids even headed out AFTER supper to close the parks down.

We ate supper that evening at a great nearby restaurant called Monk's.  Wisconsin cheese curds, nachos, soup, sandwiches...we all ate way too much food, but you couldn't beat the atmosphere!

On Sunday, the Wilkes family had about half a day left to enjoy the resort, as Jeff and I had to be back for a church marriage mentoring training program that evening in Peoria.  So that day was dedicated to the dry parks, as the Wilderness called them.

We started our day at a fantastic breakfast buffet in one of the other on-site hotels.  For every adult buffet purchased, a child got to eat for free, so this was not a bad deal.  This buffet had everything you could possibly want for breakfast; in fact, I don't think I've ever before seen one quite this comprehensive.  Fruit, cereal, pastries, a scrambled egg bar, French toast, waffles, pancakes, bagels, oatmeal, even pancakes on a stick and sausage egg biscuits.  We all rolled out of there nearly sick, but with our mission accomplished...we wouldn't need to stop for lunch that afternoon!

The Wilderness offered a pass for $12 that included two miniature golf games, bumper boats, laser tag, $2 dollars in arcade credits, and $1 off ice cream at a Cold Stone Creamery-style place.  We spent Sunday, until nearly 1:30, getting everything checked off on our passes.  (We actually bought three; Jeff and I split the mini-golf games and the ice cream!)

 

Whew!  Lots of fun!  The drive back home was just over four hours, so we had to hustle to grab the kids supper (the ice cream ended up being lunch), drop them at the babysitter's, and then get to our 6:30 training class.  But we made it, and it was a great weekend.

As a freaky side note to this trip...I saw 12 dead deer on the trip up and back, 10 of them on the side of the interstate, obviously hit by cars.  Another had been shot and was the back of someone's trailer.  The other was one that Mike Fiedler, with whom I run most Saturdays, and I saw during an early morning jog around the resort.  She had been hit and severely injured by a car, too, and a police officer was called out to euthanize her.  So that was lovely...hurt deer on our first lap, comatose deer on our second lap, shot dead deer on our third.  Ick.

I kept waiting for one to jump out in front of us.  The problem is that bad up here.  The local paper ran a front-page article about it after a deer was hit in town!  (We have driven by the corpse on our trips in and out of town all weekend.  Road kill is not being cleaned up here because the money has run out for such things.  Where's that stimulus money when you need it?!)  According to the paper, because of all the rain, the farmers haven't gotten the crops in as early as usual, and, as there is plenty of food for the deer, the population is not decreasing.  Bow season for deer started October 1, but gun season doesn't open until November 20.  Maybe we and our cars will make through then!

Anyway...our weekend in the Dells was good.  Next time, I'll tell you about this past weekend:  a tae kwon do belt test, a very sad funeral visitation, and a departure.

Hope your weekend has been good!

To No One's Surprise But Mine...

...we are having a baby boy!  I had my supersonic ultrasound today, and the results were conclusive.

I've probably not told this story before on the blog, but I am notoriously bad at predicting the gender of my babies.  I just KNEW that Charlotte was a little boy because I did not believe I was destined to be a mother to little girls.  When the sonographer told me that she was a girl, I went home and cried.

Of course, I cannot imagine our family without a little girl as our firstborn, so I'll chalk the crying jag up to pregnancy hormones.

When I was pregnant with Elijah, I again just KNEW that he was a little girl.  Since Charlotte was a girl and God had obviously decided I could mother girls, I figured that He would bless me with nothing but.  So when that sonographer told me within seconds that it was a boy, I was shocked.

With this baby, it wasn't that I KNEW anything, but I just couldn't imagine this one being anything but a girl.  I could only picture a dolled-up little girl, a second "mom" in Charlotte, and a protective big brother.

Ha!  As Jeff told me, "You're batting a thousand, honey!"

Jeff had a feeling from early in my pregnancy that this was a boy because of the similarities between this pregnancy and my last one.  Charlotte decided a bit ago that being the only princess in the family was nice, and, thus, this baby HAD to be a boy.  Elijah didn't really care, at least after his first expression of how nice it was to be the only boy.  As far as he's concerned now, the boys will finally outnumber the girls, which mean the boys have won.

Anyway, I got to have some of those cool 3D ultrasound pictures made today.  This technology totally blew me away!

This one is a side shot; the baby has his right arm tucked behind his head, and he is evidently snuggling with the placenta.  You can see his leg bent up into his body.

This one shows more of his face.  His legs are kind of cut off in this picture, but his right arm is still tucked behind his head; that's his elbow stuck out beside his face.

And here's the more traditional, profile shot.

I won't submit you to the gender verification shot, but we have one of those, too, and there's really not much room for doubt!  So now for the hard part...finding a name!

By the way, the doctor said that the baby looks wonderful.  While an ultrasound can't find all possible abnormalities or birth defects, it can see indications of a good many, and Dr. Leonardi didn't see anything today.  That is indeed an answered prayer.

While the news of the baby is wonderful, we also got some sad news today.  A woman at church lost her battle with cancer with yesterday.  She was 40 years old with three young children.  Her husband is our kids' pediatrician, and she taught our kids in church when we lived here before.  She was a fellow homeschooling mom and just a really wonderful person.  While more of an acquaintance than friend, Kim was an inspiration and outlived her initial diagnosis by over a year.  If you think about it, offer a prayer for her family...this is a terribly difficult time for them.

Well, next time, I'll fill you in our trip last weekend to the Dells.  Have a good one!

And We're Off...

This weekend, we are headed out of town for a mini-vacation, our first since we've been back from France.  (We don't tend to count visits to family as vacation.)  Of course, we probably picked a lousy weekend for it, but who knew?!

Our November has shaped up to be kind of weird.  Back when we made these plans, we had no idea that Jeff would be going to France for the last two weeks of the month.  He leaves a week from Saturday and will gone until November 28, that lucky dog.

Yep, he's gone over Thanksgiving.  The downside of this is obvious.  The upside is that he'll have a couple of extra vacation days that he can use at Christmas.  Fortunately, he will be here for my super-duper ultrasound on November 11, when we will find out if Baby #3 is a boy or a girl. 

Charlotte has a countdown going.  "Six more days!" she'll spontaneously chirp.  I'm never sure what exactly she's counting down.  Last week, it was days until basketball practice.  This week, it's evidently days until my ultrasound.

Anyway...

Tomorrow, we're off to the Wisconsin Dells with the Fiedler family from our small group for three days of water park and resort fun.  The kids are very excited, and the adults are working on it!  Our basement project probably could have used this weekend at home for a final push toward being at least halfway done.  But we'll manage, and I know we'll have fun once we get there!

As I mentioned earlier, Charlotte started basketball practice this past Tuesday.  We went to watch and make sure she doesn't have a wacko coach or anything like that, and we were pleasantly surprised at how quickly she picked it up!  Her coach is a very tall, soft-spoken man (not at all a wacko!) who did a great job with the girls.  Most of them were slap beginners like Charlotte, and he was very patient.  I think that this will be a good experience for her.

Have a great weekend!